Friday, August 17, 2007

Porku Porku

Now we all know pork tastes good and China is the largest consumer of pork. So I was wondering one day, where did all these pork come from? Thus I decided to start thinking about how did pork transmit throughout the old world and came up with a hypothesis.

First, I shall start by establishing the origin of pork. This is simple. No other groups of people except the Chinese have found use for almost all parts of the pig. Hence pork originated from China.

From my limited observation and narrow perspective of the different European cuisines available, pork seems to feature more abundantly in central and eastern Europe. Now this has puzzled me. Although no doubt western Europe consumes pork, it does not seem to feature as often on their dishes. Beef seems more common. Neither does southern Europe seem to have much pork in their dishes (perhaps some bacon and ham on your pasta). Hence I establish the limits of mainstream pork adoption at the western, central European boundary (i.e. between France and Germany).

So the question now is how did the pork get there? Someone must have moved those pigs there but who? To answer this we will first rewind to the major episodes in history where people covered long distances.

Case 1: The Soviets did it circa 1950 AD. The communist front stretched from North Korean to Eastern Germany. However this seems too recent. I am quite sure those delicious German pork sausages were there during the Third Reich.

Case 2: Admiral Zheng He did it circa 1400 AD. Assuming he sailed round the world he could have reached Germany and gave them some pigs (just because he is Muslim does not mean that his sailors are). Well this cannot be right since he did not sail round the world.

Case 3: The Mongols did it circa 1300 AD. Well they established the biggest land empire in history from Europe to Asia. But close inspection shows that in Europe, they did not really get past Hungary, much less reached the borders of France. So it is rather unlikely.

Case 4: The Muslims did it circa 700 AD. The Muslim empire covered almost all land routes to China from Europe and at one time lay from Spain to Afghanistan. Since eating pork is prohibited in Islam, they might have driven it out into the surrounding lands. However, like the Mongols, they never bordered central Europe.

This leaves us with one of the last few candidates in history.

Case 5: The Huns did it circa 500 AD. The Huns were driven off the borders of China by the Han empire around 320 AD and eventually European Huns settled. Attila the Hun created the Hunnic Empire that covered central and Eastern Europe posing a big treat to the Roman Empire. Now if you examine this, then it will be clear why pork is more prevalent in central Europe towards the East. Since pork probably did not feature much on a Roman's diet (being the barbarian's food), this explains why western, southern Europe, and the Isles of Britain do not feature it as predominately. Hence the hypothesis. Somewhere from 2nd to 5th Century AD, the Huns transmitted pork from the borders of China, into Russia, and finally to the lands of modern day Germany.

Case Closed! Now for those of you who seriously take this seriously, please note that I have been totally debunked by the University of Oxford.

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